Our conversations are a direct reflection of our lives. The ones we have and the ones that we don't have outwardly, but are constantly going over in our minds. Am I the only one who does this? Lol...
It's the conversations that are challenging or the conversations you don't want to be confrontational or even the ones that you need to have but "don't want to hurt anyone's feelings" so you say just enough and nothing at all. Saying just enough is really equal to not saying anything at all. In fact it may even cause MORE confusion! When we are not CLEAR, CLEAN and COMPLETE it raises more questions and we don't get our needs met.
Now let's go back to my first sentence, "Our conversations are a direct reflection of our lives." Take a look at the quality of your conversations paralleled to the quality of your life. Is there a similarity? Effective communication has the the power to make you feel lighter, whole and complete whereas ineffective communication (the ones where we don't speak clearly, our words are not clean and complete, and the conversations we should have with someone but get stuck in our heads), can destroy relationships, create environments of hostility and tension, and tear down the fibers of trust.
Healthy communication builds trust and is a model for mutual respect. It is a powerful opportunity for people to share in a reality and create the highest possible outcome together. In the very minimum, being clear, clean and complete in your conversation will free you from the burden of not expressing what you want and sharing what you need. The result of having conversations foster healthier family dynamics, workplace environments and the empowerment of relationships overall.
"To get to the next level of greatness depends on the quality of the culture, which depends on the quality of relationships, which depends on the quality of conversations. Everything happens through conversations." ~ Judith E. Glaser
Judith Glaser, author of Conversational Intelligence, shares five common blind spots we all encounter.
Blind Spot 1: This blind spot involves an assumption that others see what we see, feel what we feel, and think what we think.
Blind Spot 2: The failure to realize that fear, trust, and distrust change how we see and interpret reality, and therefore how we talk about it.
Blind Spot 3: An inability to stand in each other’s shoes when we are fearful or upset.
Blind Spot 4: The assumption that we remember what others say, when we actually remember what we think about what others say.
Blind Spot 5: The assumption that meaning resides in the speaker, when in fact it resides in the listener.
Here are Judith’s recommendations to eliminate our conversational blind spots:
Paying attention to and minimizing the time you "own" the conversational space.
Sharing that space by asking open-ended discovery questions, to which you don't know the answers, so you stay curious (i.e., What influenced your thinking?)
Listening to connect not judge or reject.
Double-clicking on what others say to facilitate sharing and discovering and opening the space for deeper connection and relationship building.
Remember that your conversation matters. What you need and want matters and to get what you need and want, it must be expressed in a way that it clean, clear and complete.
You have a Special Gift. Beauty and Greatness abides within you. YOU have the POWER to CREATE each day INTENTIONALLY GOOD and to Be Beautifully Inspired!
If you need to have a conversation with someone and don't quite know where to begin or how to start, let's connect HERE. I have tools and resources to get your started!
Your NEXT Decision, Will Change Your DESTINY!